A friend of mine that I follow on Facebook posted the above image recently. As someone with a background working in the mental health field, my immediate reaction was, "Heck yes! We need to start encouraging regular mental health checkups as much as we encourage regular physical health checkups!" And if you have access to the news in any of its varying forms, no doubt you're able to see all the discussions about mental health/mental illness that's been inspired by any of the most recent human tragedies our world, and more specifically, our nation, has experienced. It's a hot button topic for sure, and the sad fact of the matter is that mental health just isn't given the value it's due, and as a result, too many people are hurting, and going out and hurting others and themselves.
And that is especially true when it comes to healthism (aka diet culture).
It's the height of summer, and everyone is out at the pool or the beach, all of the diet and exercise ads are in full swing. Weight Watchers, BeachBody, all of the "medical spas" that claim they can "literally melt your fat away on your lunch break" are all over the TV, radio, and social media. There isn't any place you can look that isn't advertising their particular brand of "get skinny, be skinny, stay skinny." And, what makes it worse, is that they all hawk their services and products in the name of health.
Health, which apparently in this world means depriving yourself of any happiness and forcing your body to do insane things. Health, which apparently means that you don't listen to your body and its needs, that you ignore the signs of it needing rest, or sustenance, or even just simple acknowledgement. Health, which apparently is meant to be one size -- literally -- fits all.
It's really why I take issue with any company or brand that touts itself as being "about health." I come from a background in direct sales and network marketing, and as a result have connected with many people who got sucked into the "health and wellness" message some companies pretend to be about. But when it came right down to it, "health and wellness" had only one look, and that look was thin, able-bodied, white, of course, and lounging around in athletic wear or yoga pants while sipping some meal replacement shake, or wearing some wrap, or sporting a magic energy sticker (true story). Personally, I can't support that model of "health and wellness" when all it really is is fatphobic propaganda wrapped up in the promises of free trips, ultimate wealth, and perpetual body shaming.
Any time I encountered one that seemed to be truly about promoting the overall health of its customers and representatives, I found more of the same: little focus on overall health (mental, spiritual, financial, etc. in addition to physical health), and too much focus on their before and afters, which were always, always, ALWAYS weight loss related. Never were the before and afters showing someone whose body didn't change, but highlighted their overall happiness and exuberance because now they were feeling better overall due to changes in their health routine; never were the before and afters showing weight gain, whether intended or unintended, but highlighted the improvement in other areas of their life. Every. Single. One. was about weight loss.
Get skinny, be skinny, stay skinny.
And this is the way that all of our current diet culture has gone. They even try to hide it by coming up with foods and recipes that "taste way too good to be diet food". "Eat this pasta that's not really pasta so you can indulge without the guilt!" "This sugar substitute is perfect for beating the bloated belly!" "This bread tastes like literal dirt, but we're going to pretend it doesn't, because at least it won't make you fat!" Because the thing that's missing the most from these "health and wellness" companies is the joy, the happiness, the pleasure of food and movement.
Why?
At its core, all diet culture does is spout lies about what health actually is, touting them as ultimate truths that will lead to the happiness you've always sought, ultimately tying your happiness into your weight loss, as if your true happiness is hiding somewhere beneath all the layers of fat, and not in the palms of your own two hands, or, more importantly, and more powerfully, between your ears.
Where is the happiness when you're up at 4 in the morning to go for a run or go to the gym when your body is tired, or sick, or not yet fed? When your body is saying to you "I need more rest so I can function more optimally. I need rest so I can heal. I need to be fed so I can work." Ignoring those signs is not health.
And it doesn't make it any better when you try to dress it up in a cute meme of a tank top either. "Sweat is just pain leaving your body." What is that? Pain is an important message. It relays important information. It means "Stop! Rest! Do something different!"
Where is the happiness when you're craving something sweet and delicious to eat, or your stomach is rumbling with hunger, and you ignore it, or instead eat something that just doesn't excite you because it's the "healthier" option? When your body is telling you that it needs something specific, it needs to feel joy and pleasure. Ignoring your body's cries for pleasure is not health.
Why do you think that you don't deserve to experience joy and pleasure from the food you eat (well, actually, I know why, and that's because society has forced you to internalize these messages of self-loathing)? We talk about "comfort foods" as if they're inherently bad. Like it's so wrong to feel good when you're eating food. Like, by being in a fat body, you deserve only to deprive yourself of joy and happiness and pleasure (we do the same thing with sex, by the way, but that's a topic for another time).
Where is the happiness when you're weighing every piece of food in your house or adding up calories or macros so that you don't go over your permitted amount of food? Who is anyone to tell you what types and what amounts of foods are permissible for you to eat? Your body knows what it needs, and it knows what amounts it needs.
Always remember that you are the expert on your body. You, and you alone. Not a doctor, not a nutritionist or dietician, not your friends, not your parents. You. Listen to the wisdom of your body. There is so much it holds, and that wisdom is beautiful and powerful and magical. It is the wisdom that transforms.
Now, I say all this not because I'm against salads and going to the gym. As a matter of fact, I love salads, and I love working out (as long as I can do it on a pole). But I do those things because they feel good to me and my body, not because I've been told by society that that's the way I should eat and exercise. And if eating salads and going to the gym at 4 in the morning, and avoiding cookies is what truly, TRULY feels good for you and your body, then by all means, indulge. Do it! And I will cheer you on in your salad eating, cookie avoiding, gym going ways! But if you're doing it because you're trying to achieve some ideal that someone else told you you need to achieve, then I will encourage you only to make the choices you feel are best, and I will remind you that you are worthy no matter your gym or eating habits, or your body type or size.
Because that is where true health lies. True health lies in the satisfaction of our hearts and the peace in our minds when we aren't trying to change our bodies to fit some arbitrary mold, but are instead changing our bodies to align with our own personal values and needs; when we aren't depriving ourselves of the things that bring us joy and pleasure, simply because someone else told us we don't have the right body type to be deserving, but indulge in the foods and activities that bring us true happiness. The sort of thinking that starts off as "I shouldn't eat this because it'll make me fat/keep me from losing weight" is the same sort of thinking that can easily become obsessive, that can easily become harmful, because it's not based out of love for our bodies and recognition of its needs, but out of fear of fat. It's not based in the experience of joy and pleasure, but guided by fear.
So I posit this question to you, dear reader: what would your thoughts towards your body, towards your self, be like if you allowed yourself to move and eat as your body dictated, and not society? How would your mental health change? If you could allow yourself to wear the clothing you wanted to, if you could allow yourself to eat the food you craved, if you could allow yourself to move in ways that felt good and natural and right? Are there certain objective functions of the body that change according to the ways in which we nourish ourselves and move? Sure. If you don't smoke, breathing is easier; if you drink a lot of water, your kidneys function more efficiently; if you lift weights, your muscles will become stronger. But why are these the standards by which we measure health (and also, why are we so obsessed with others' "health" anyway??)? Why is it that when someone is suffering in their mind, worrying over what their body looks like, what they're eating, how much they're exercising, but is losing weight, why is that the standard of health? Shouldn't health be measured by the individual standard of each person? Shouldn't health be measured by a person saying "I feel good today"? Whether they ate a salad or a whole pizza, whether they ran 10 miles or just binged watched every show on Netflix, whether they lost 10 pounds or gained 1. Shouldn't each person get to determine what feels good and healthy for them?
You can feel free to disagree if you like, but I'm going state this here and now: if mental health is truly as important as our physical health, then we need to make sure that the things we do for our physical bodies feel good in our minds, and that we aren't basing our happiness on the size and shape of our bodies, but by the things we can do with our bodies that feel good, truly good.
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