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Writer's pictureAndrea Brown Riley

It's okay to be privileged (unless you don't do anything about it)


The 6 of Pentacles tarot card, which shows a man dressed in fine clothes and holding a set of scales in his left hand, with two beggars kneeling at his feet. From his right hand he drops a fews crumbs into the waiting, empty hands of one of the beggars. Surrounding the man in find clothing are 6 pentacles, or coins, indicating that he is surrounded by resources and wealth.
The 6 of Pentacles in the tarot is all about privilege -- who has it and who doesn't, who has access to power and resources, and how and in what way are they sharing those things with others who don't have privilege and access to power and resources.

Privilege. In social justice circles, it's a word that gets thrown around a lot. And, depending on where you are in your own social justice journey, it can be a word that either makes you want to fist bump in solidarity against systems of oppression and those in power who try to maintain them, or it can make you balk and feel defensive, prompting you to arguments against its very existence.


For those in the latter category, this post is for you.


There can be a lot of misconception about what privilege is and isn't, and who does and doesn't have it. So, to clear up any confusion, let's start by talking about what privilege doesn't mean.


When you hear someone talk about "white privilege" or "able bodied privilege" or "cismale privilege", what they aren't saying is that members of those groups have never suffered any personal or social injustice ever in their life. They aren't saying that because you happen to belong to any of those groups with privilege that you don't know pain, that you have never been hurt, that systems of oppression don't negatively impact you either. They aren't saying that you can't be angry or have any number of opinions or feelings about the current social climate. They aren't even saying that you're necessarily a bad person, or that you personally have done something to hurt them in some way.


In the simplest terms, all privilege means is that many things in your life are going to be just a bit easier because you happen to belong to a group that historically has made up all the rules, and therefore holds most of the power, power that often presents challenges and obstacles for those who don't belong to your group or groups.


Think of it like a tabletop RPG character sheet. For each category you fall into that has historically held power in the world (e.g. cismale, white, straight, able bodied, Christian, etc.), you get to add 10 points. For each category you belong to that has historically faced oppression (e.g. LGBTQIA+, cisfemale, POC, indigenous peoples, fat body, disabled body, etc.), you remove 20 points (why 20 and not 10? Because that's just how unbalanced and unfair systems of oppression are). At the end of tallying up the points, whoever has the most points gets to make the rules for the rest of the game -- they have all the power; they have privilege. (Side note: depending on which part of the world you live in, these will of course vary some -- of course I'm aware that not all nations and communities support the Christian faith, not all nations and communities are white, etc.).

Privilege means you get to walk around in a world with minimal challenges and obstacles (not none, just minimal), because it was designed to suit people just like you, because it was designed by people just like you. Does it mean you won't ever be uncomfortable or experience pain or challenges? No, because that's life, and sometimes life sucks. Does it mean that those with less privilege will encounter more barriers trying to navigate a world that people like you designed to suit their own needs? Yes.


If you're able to access and read this blog it means you probably live in a society that was built mostly by straight, able bodied, Christian leaning, ciswhite men. For anyone who falls anywhere outside of those categories there will be challenges and obstacles, seen as microaggressions (those look like backhanded compliments ("that's really good for someone who is XYZ"), assumptions about their abilities and/or intellect, assumptions about their interests ("You're XYZ, I bet that means you're really into ABC"), ignoring their input or feedback, especially if you would have entertained that input or feedback coming from someone who appears to be part of your own social group, intentional or unintentional lack of culturally appropriate accommodations in a group space, commenting your concerns about how their presence will impact your (personal or professional) image, or even just flat out ignoring their presence altogether) to outright violence (targeted mass shootings and other terrorism, statistically higher incidence of sexual and physical assault, intentionally making derogatory, harmful, or threatening statements to or about them, statistically higher incidence of police involvement and brutality, higher incidence of racial profiling, violating physical boundaries without consent (touching someone's hair, garb, support animal, assistive device, belly, etc.), higher incidence of intimate partner violence and homicide, and of course, genocide and eugenics practices (which still exists, here, today, in America even)).


You personally may not be intentionally enacting this violence against members of other groups, but it doesn't mean it isn't happening (and the fact that you may feel that it isn't happening because you aren't seeing it or intentionally causing it is a byproduct of having privilege -- the ability to deny and choose to separate yourself from violence is a privilege). And if you happen to belong to a group with less privilege and can't say you have personally experienced any of these microaggressions or violence, it still doesn't mean that it isn't happening. All it takes is listening to and believing the millions of people who are reporting these lived experiences. It isn't some mass conspiracy to take down the white man or turn our country into a nation of godless heathens -- it is simply the crying out of a people, of many peoples, against the injustices that have been enacted against them for hundreds and hundreds of years.


So if someone says you have privilege, pause before you argue against the notion. Think about your lived experiences and how the social groups you belong to may or may not have impacted those experiences. The person telling you that you have privilege likely isn't trying to say you're a bad person -- they probably only want to feel seen and heard and supported, and for someone who has power and privilege (that could be you!) to ally with them in the fight for social justice, equity, and equality.

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